80 signs that you might be from Haskins:

1. When trying to describe where you live, you end up telling people you live south of Toledo and/or north of Bowling Green.
2. When trying to describe where you live, people invariably say, "Oh is that by Lucky?" because their only exposure to Haskins is having seen the SR 582 exit sing on I-75 that says "Haskins - Luckey". (Notice it doesn't say Lucky Haskins)
3. When trying to describe where you live, the other person says, "Oh yeah, I know where that is, I got a ticket there once".
4. When trying to describe where you live, the other person says, "Oh yeah, I know where that is, there used to be a biker bar there".
5. You park more often in your yard than you do in your drive way and never in your garage; probably because it's easier to dodge the dog droppings in your yard than the mud holes in your driveway.
6. Your address starts with PO Box...
7. UPS and Fedex have trouble finding you.
8. The coolest part of the day is when the shadow from the grain elevator crosses over your house.
9. Your front porch swing is really the bench seat from a 83 Ford F150 hanging from three scrap pieces of chain that your Rottweiler broke and a broken V-belt from your truck.
10. You can tell who's winning the Pee-Wee baseball game without leaving your house.
11. You yell at the stray dogs by name.
12. Your dog had a litter of puppies in the living room and you didn't notice for three weeks.
13. You see your neighbors on Jerry Springer and you're jealous.
14. You were asked to take the toothpick out of your mouth for your wedding pictures.
15. Your house has no curtains but your truck does.
16. The planter in your yard was once a bathroom fixture.
17. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
18. You have a neon sign in your front window.
19. You own a homemade fur coat.
20. Your wife has had to say on more than one occasion, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
21. Your parents met at a family reunion.
22. Your good furniture is made from used Telephone company cable spools.
23. You think the year before you're a junior, you're a "Southmore".
24. You say "For all intensive purposes" when you start a sentence.
25. You say "seen" when you should say "saw". Seriously!
26. Parts of your car are painted with house paint.
27. You own more cars that don't run than ones that do.
28. There are no people in your neighborhood when there is a home game at Otsego.
29. You leave your Christmas lights up all year.
30. You drive the truck to church that has the Yosemite Sam mudflaps, and not the truck with the naked lady silhouette mudflaps.
31. Both your house and your car have some parts held together with duct tape.
32. You mow around at least one thing in your yard that has wheels on it.
33. You don't know what curbs are.
34. You are related to at least one town official.
35. You have a house with wheels and a vehicle without any.
36. You judge how much it rained recently by looking at how full the ditch is.
37. Your truck has a NASCAR number on it somewhere.
38. You haven't seen the keys to your house for many years.
39. You think "garage" is a french word that means "a place to sit in your lawn chair and watch folks go down the street".
40. Your house has at least three different colors or three kinds of siding on it.
41. Your dog howls every day at noon, when the fire whistle blows.
42. You hear a noise in your garage and you don't care because you know it's just your neighbor rummaging through your tools.
43. You come home and someone took your laundry off the line, folded it, and put it in your house.
44. You greet the police by their nickname.
45. You know how to get to Rouche de Beouf St.
46. You fill your swimming pool from the fire hydrant.
47. You buy your gas and pizza at the same place.
48. You have at least three old tires being used as something in your yard.
49. The four seasons are Summer, Duck, Deer, and Squirrel.
50. You have a 10ft living room and a 5 ft TV
51. Three things standing in your front yard are a flamingo and two dish antennas.
52. You have pelts and/or bones of some sort nailed to the side of your shed.
53. You wave to everyone, even if you have no idea who they are.
54. Sunday evening is a village-wide free exchange because Monday morning is trash pickup.
55. Your kids are named after NASCAR drivers.
56. Only one person in town has wireless Internet but everyone uses it.
57. You get your newspaper delivered but not your mail.
58. You hear the train whistle and still have time to get to your car, start it up, and get across the tracks before the gates come down.
59. You get a haircut just to catch-up on local gossip.
60. All the trees and phone poles around your house lean to the east.
61. You feed some cats, but you aren't sure who's they are.
62. You wonder if indoor plumbing will actually improve the value of your house.
63. The local police will only allow you to have a fire if you hold a hot-dog at the same time.
64. You made the village police 10 most wanted list several times last year because you forgot your hot-dog.
65. You leave your keys in the ignition of your car, even when you are away on vacation.
66. You will vote "yes" on any tax Levy where the Otsego football program is at stake.
67. The flag on your flag pole still has only 48 stars on it.
68. Your inflatable above ground pool is larger in square feet than your house.
69. You know where the horse track used to be.
70. You think Otsego High School IS higher education.
71. You think Rottweiler's and Pit Bulls make good pets for the kids.
72. You walk around the village for exercise but drive to the post office for your mail.
73. Paying the highest sewer rates in the country makes you consider cleaning out and recommissioning the shed which was once an outhouse.
74. You call anyone who lives east of the town hall "Dold people"
75. You secretly talk bad about the high-falutin people who live on Greenwood because they have Mail Boxes and curbs.
76. The "Dold People" secretly talk bad about everyone else because everyone else can have clothes lines.
77. The postmistress knows the names of all your family members, even those who live in other states.
78. Mapquest.com can't find your address.
79. You still think you can't drive north out of town 'on-account-a' the big hole in the road.
80. Your kids pants stop above where their socks begin.