the "You Reap What you Sew" awards

My sister sent this article to me, and being keenly aware that forwarding unsolicited mass e-mail to all my "friends" and contacts is sort of like giving them Amish Sour Dough starter, I thought I'd just put them here and let you help yourself.

These very familiar awards are aptly named the "Darwin Awards", because they are awarded to people who looked at the obvious facts they had in front of them and like Mr. Darwin, also came to very erroneous conclusions. (OK, don't correct me, I know why they are really called this).

The 2008 Darwin Awards, -or- the "You Reap What you Sew" awards:

Here are the glorious top 10 winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***

January 18th, 2009; 2 days before the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States.

As a believer in, and follower of The Lord Jesus Christ I take Biblical admonitions very seriously. I find my guide and path for living within the pages of the Holy Scriptures, especially as those pages illuminate the life and Character of Jesus, the God-Man from Heaven-Nazareth.

Even in His darkest hour, forsaken by His own creation and forsaken by His Heavenly Father, the divine character of Jesus shines through the darkness. Standing before the highest governing authority in the region, Jesus remained respectful and subject to that authority. In all four gospels, and amplified in the gospel of John (Chapters 18 & 19), Jesus remains submissive, and respectfully answers the questions of His unethical and unjust inquisitor. Why? As Pontius Pilate's creator(John 1:1-3), Jesus was by far the higher authority, and as Supreme Judge of the world (John 5:26), by far the more righteous judge. Why did Jesus submit to Pilate? Should not have Pilate submitted to Him? The answer can be found in Jesus's own words in John 19:10-11.

Then Pilate said to Him, “Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?” Jesus answered, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.”

Jesus was actually submitting to His Father, recognizing that all power and authority comes "from above". He had no need or inclination to resist, denigrate, or veto the judgment of Pontius Pilate. Jesus rested in the understanding that Pilate’s power and authority comes from above and it is to the One who is above all that Pilate will ultimately answer. I believe that Jesus could have paid for my sins by is own death even if he never appeared before Pilate in the process. I'm not suggesting I know a better way, or God should have consulted me when He devised this perfect process, but I'm only saying I think Jesus appeared before the governing authorities for some reasons that are not essential to our salvation, but are instructive for our life in Christ. This jurisdictional part of the Holy Passion process can, and should have a profound impact on how we live our lives today. I can ask myself the question "Am I following Jesus in my attitudes and respect for the authorities God has placed over me?"

The idea of a "disciple" means a follower, imitator, student of a “master”. There can not be one without the other. As disciples, we take Christ into ourselves; we adopt His values, we obey his commandments, we imitate His life, we follow His lead. "He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked." (1 John 2:6). Through the years great disciples of Christ have also encouraged us and taught us how to follow The Master in a practical way. Two places we have been taught the same lesson that Jesus modeled before Pilate are here:

• Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. (Romans 13:1)
• Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. (1 Timothy 2:1)

Therefore, I urge all Christians to follow The Master and to obey God in this same way. If you can do this, then you are serving God. If you can not do this, you are not following The Master, but actually resisting the ordinance of God. Let's trust God by living and acting like Jesus, not resisting, not disrespecting our God ordained authority, but praying and giving thanks for them, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence for the next four years.

Shopping in the Kingdom (a dream)

I had a dream......

On another planet, there is a kingdom; a glorious kingdom in which all the citizens live forever in peace. All who apply and are accepted for citizenship in this kingdom must first acquire some things. All of these things can be acquired from the only kingdom store which has been provided through great personal sacrifice of The Kings son. This store has some very unique features.

First, the unheard of value. There is no cost for any item in the store; there are checkout stations, but there is no charge for anything. Second, the unusual shopping. The King has decreed that every customer must select one of every item in the store; no one can checkout if their cart is not complete with one of each item. Third, the exuberant greeter. Every customer coming into the store gets uniquely greeted by a personal assistant; a guide who knows that specific customer perfectly, even better than the customer knows himself. That guide stays with that customer through the whole shopping experience and helps select items to put into the cart.

Generally, each person pushes his own cart thorough the entire store, but sometimes the guide helps by giving the cart a nudge in the right direction. Also it is considered courteous in all The Kings realm for customers to offer a helping hand to fellow customers when they are in need. Above this, The King has appointed certain special customers to have brightly colored shopping carts that let them be more easily observed by other customers in the store. Their special job while in the store is simply to be good examples; visibly submitting to their personal guide, allowing their guide to direct their shopping. They correctly demonstrate leadership in other small ways too, like pointing out hard-to-find items, or stretching for top-shelf items that are too high for shorter customers to reach on their own, or helping to get a cart moving again if someone gets stuck. The other customers that observe this modeled behavior are encouraged to do the same things and everyone in the store is blessed by it. This is The King's design. I have heard that even the security personnel who observe everything through the ceiling mounted cameras rejoice when they see this happening. You gotta’ love our thoughtful King.

The store is thoughtfully laid out, like one might expect, in such a way to be most efficient for most customers. the usual way upon entering the store is to start to the left, in aisle 1, where you find the sturdy, rigid, more durable items that can tolerate the load of all the other things being piled on top in the cart. Going through the store in the normal way makes shopping the most efficient, since some things work together in such a way as so you need to have a certain item in your cart just to be able to pick up a different item in another part of the store. The guide is an invaluable helper for these circumstances. Most folks take this route it seems, working their way sequentially through the store, aisle by aisle, and end up at the check-out on the far right side of the store. Even though the guide knows that the customer is going to eventually get one of everything in the store, he helps select items to be put into the cart in a specific order; one that properly loads the cart and is in the best interest of the customer. Sometimes the guide knows a person will benefit by starting in a different aisle and going through the store in an unconventional way. It is not uncommon to observe the guide directing his customer by an unusual route, however. I watched one customer being pushed very quickly down aisles 1 & 2, but then pulled over to go very slowly down aisles 6, 7, and 8, returning to aisles 3, 4, &5 later just because that was better for that person. They still got one of everything in the store, but in a different order than expected. It has been told of some starting on the far-right side of the store picking up items from aisle 10 first before selecting anything from any other aisle. This is very unusual, but the guide really knows what he is doing; He has never been wrong.

All this The King has provided and arranged in His wisdom; the store, the items in it, the guides, and the leaders with the brightly colored shopping carts, and the security personnel just because he loves his subjects. Because this whole arrangement has all been very well thought through in advance by The King, the best way to get through the store is to leave your own ideas outside, relax, and just trust the King’s guide to walk you through it. If we are willing, He even offers us his own personal cart, which is very easy to push and the load always seems very light in it. All this free help is very hard for some folks to accept and too often they insist on using their own carts and bringing some of their old ways of doing things into the store with them. This only makes shopping more difficult. When the guide suggests a certain item, some say to the guide “I really don’t want that right now, thank you. I know I’ll eventually have to get one, but I think I’ll just come back and get it later. There is so much here that I do want, I really want to get those items first, if you don’t mind.” The guide is very gracious, and even though it grieves him to hear it, and causes him extra work, and he often has to make changes to the original plan to accommodate the willfulness of the customer, knowing that every customer will only check-out when the cart has one of everything in it, the guide remains unshaken by the customer’s obstinacy. He just keeps leading in the best possible way for his customer.

Even though all the customers get the same information coming into the store; all know that everyone gets one of every item in the store, all realize that each customer has an individual guide who really knows the best way to load the cart, and many (if not most) have even learned the hard way of the added difficulties that come when the guide is not trusted, still I have noticed something going on in the store that seems unwise. Some customers still want to look into other customers shopping carts and compare the contents of their own cart against the other persons. It is really hard to say why they (we) do this. Very rarely would there be the exact same items in any two carts at any given moment; no one would expect there to be. What is the sense in comparing then?

• One might rationalize that by comparing carts, one could determine if they have the right stuff in their own cart. Of course this makes no sense since many are guided through the store by different routes and there is no way of knowing who is being led by what route so there is no way of knowing exactly what should be in someone's cart.
• Another might rationalize that by comparing carts I can see if the other customer is lacking anything and I can help them find it. This seems to forget that the other person has a perfect guide who knows them even better than they know themselves. On their best day, no one could know what a person's cart is lacking better than that persons guide.
• Some might think that the more information we can collect on the contents of customers carts, we can actually improve the layout of the store and help future customers through it more easily. But since the store layout is a design of The King, I doubt it can be improved upon.
  
• One might rationalize that because The King gave them a brightly colored cart, inspecting carts is part of the obligation. But that's really not the job of those with brightly colored carts, is it?. Aren't bright cart customers supposed to be leading the other customers by modeling the very things that everyone is supposed to be doing. Remedial cart inspecting is not one of those things, right? It is the guides responsibility to lead the customer in filling the cart properly and in the right order because only the guide knows what is supposed to be in there at the time.
  

In fact, I can’t really see any good reason for “cart inspecting”, even though I admit I have done it and possibly we all do it or have done it from time to time. It seems to be just one of those ideas we should have left outside the store, but thought it might come in handy if we brought it with us. Imagine how dishonoring and disrespectful this must be to the King and to His guide.

Oh great and wonderful King. Thank you so much for accepting us into your Kingdom. Thank you for the store, for all the items you have made for us to put into our carts, and for your Son who provided it for us. Thank you for the personal guide who leads us through our shopping in a perfect way. And thank you for those you have appointed to push the brightly colored carts and to show us by example the best way to shop under the direction of your personal guide. Thank you.



I wake

Living by Grace

I am reminding myself of the following statements written by Miles J. Stanford in his Green Letters. Each statement is worthy of meditation.

• "To believe, and to consent to be loved while unworthy, is the great secret."
• "To refuse to make 'resolutions' and 'vows'; for that is to trust in the flesh."
• "To expect to be blessed, though realizing more and more lack of worth."
• "To rely on God's chastening (child training) hand as a mark of His kindness."
• "To 'hope to be better' (hence acceptable) is to fail to see yourself in Christ only."
• "To be disappointed with yourself is to have believed in yourself."
• "To be discouraged is unbelief -- as to God's purpose and plan of blessing for you."
• "To be proud, is to be blind! For we have no standing before God in ourselves."
• "The lack of divine blessing, therefore, comes from unbelief and not from failure of devotion.

"To preach devotion first and blessing second, is to reverse God's order, and preach law, not grace. The law made man's blessing dependent on devotion; grace confers undeserved, unconditional blessing: our devotion may follow, but does not always do so -- in proper measure."

Miles J. Stanford. The Green Letters - Acceptance