Grandchildren are a lot like an amusement Ride.

Having Grandchildren is not for the faint of heart. The task can be managed however if you keep in mind some of the same rules as would be applicable for a ride at an amusement park.

Here are some tips to keep in mind from a multi-season-pass holder.

• ALL PARK RULES ARE TO BE OBSERVED: Be familiar with ALL parental rules. Observe all height and age restrictions and pay careful attention to instructions issued by the parents, hereafter referred to as "ride operators". Explain all rules you have been given to your grandchild(ren) prior to letting your grandchild(ren) do anything, even the rules you have no intention of following. Emphasize the importance of following these rules, just because it's just good to have a base from which to deviate. With that groundwork, NEVER allow anything to keep you from breaking any or all of these rules when your grand-parenting intuition calls for it. Remember, You are the wise elder here. Also remember your kids broke all the rules you gave them and they survived.

• BEHAVIOR: Keep all hands, arms, and legs inside the ride at all times. This pertains specifically to the grandparents, but is not realistically expected of the grandchildren. Unsafe horseplay and irresponsible behavior will be sufficient reason for expulsion from any activity. This also pertains specifically to the grandparents, but is not realistically expected of the grandchildren.

• IMAGINATION: Be sure to use all of the safety equipment provided by the operator. Much of the safety equipment provided can be imaginatively employed to make forts, dollhouses, obstacle courses, etc. Nothing is what it seems anymore.

• HANDRAILS: Hold onto all handrails, when provided. Many things can be considered a handrail.

• BEDTIME: Remain in the ride until it comes to a full and complete stop. If a ride stops temporarily, due to mechanical failure or other reason, stay seated and wait for the ride to start up again or for the operator to give your further instructions.

• KNOW YOUR ENDURANCE: Stop riding before you get excessively tired, to avoid injuries or illnesses.

• SOBRIETY: Never ride while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. However, do not forget to remain hydrated. Remember to drink frequently while visiting this amusement, especially on a hot day. Also provide ample drinks for those in your care. They don’t put cupholders on every single piece of equipment just to hold lego’s and hair ties you know.

• AWARENESS OF IMPENDING TROUBLE: Don’t board the ride if you see broken parts, signs of improper maintenance, or an inattentive operator. Before agreeing to participate, you also should listen to the ride (does it sound like it is in need of repair), and not necessarily to the banal excuses of the parental operator. You can learn a great deal about a ride and its condition from just looking and listening. Follow your instincts; if something about a ride seems suspicious, don't ride it. Insist the ride be properly serviced by a professional parent before you agree to interact with it.

• FORGET ABOUT FASHION: Wear loose and comfortable clothing and shoes when visiting this amusement. Do not bother to comb your hair, put on clean clothes, or otherwise try to look good in any way. It won’t last as long as it took you to do it anyway.

• BREAKS: Take frequent breaks. Even short naps are very refreshing. Seasoned riders learn how to take quick naps while sharing a book, playing hide-and-seek, or watching a video. Listen to your body, and let it tell you when a break is needed.

• LIMITS: Participate responsibly. You should be in good health to ride safely. Know your physical conditions and limitations and make them known to others. If you suspect that your health could be at risk for any reason, or you could aggravate a pre-existing condition of any kind by riding a ride and/or device, DO NOT RIDE! Set these boundaries early and don’t be afraid to exaggerate them a bit, knowing they will generally be disregarded anyway.

• ROLE: Never never never forget your place and your role. It is too easy to think you are still an operator and forget that you have transitioned to the role of extravagant provider of all things fun and delicious. Do not forget this and Never never never allow the operators to forget this. Support your operators in all their naïve efforts; new-age rules, hyper-protective encumbrances, and faddish diets for their children. M&M’s never hurt any kid.